Today is a day we will never forget. This morning our lowly dwelling place lost two innocent souls to heaven above. Philip Augustine (or "Gus Gus" to some of his cousins and godparents he never met) and Katherine Thérése (or "Katie from Katy" as she may have been known), were both brought into glory with their heavenly father this Sunday morning.
February 7th is a new double saint day to be remembered in our family for years to come. Our hearts are filled with grief and pain, and an emptiness that is sure to last for a long time. I certainly could connect with the sentiments of Job in today's reading at Mass:
“Remember that my life is like the wind;
I shall not see happiness again.”
It would be easy to be mad, and to feel hurt, betrayed, and forsaken by the One who has the power to save, to heal, and to give life...but didn’t in this particular case. Kristin and I are certainly asking God why this happened. Why would we be given such a beautiful gift, only for it to be torn away so abruptly. The answer to that heavy question, like the answers to all our prayers, will only come in God's time. We can only hope for that peace and healing we are reminded about in today's Psalm:
“He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He tells the number of the stars;
He calls each by name.”
We have to trust in the Lord that He has plans bigger than we can know or understand. We have to remember all the previous times in our life where we felt lost, or abandoned, but later understood why He was leading us through it. Everything is 20/20 in hindsight, and our tests of faith are no different. Another psalmist named David gives us these words of prayer:
“Oh great God give us rest
We're all worn thin from all of this
At the end of our hope with nothing left
Oh great God give us rest
Oh great God do your best”
The circumstances around this whole process have been more inspiring and more amazing than we could have ever imagined. From the initial faith and support of our friends, who made this adoption possible, to the holiness and trust of our birth mother Marie, who was in the thick of it with us every step of the way, to the countless prayers of family, friends and even strangers that have poured in from all over the country.
Most importantly, know that your prayers are not in vain. We have seen God working in us and throughout this entire situation, and that in itself is a testament to the power of your prayers. We ask that you remain faithful to God through all of this, and take this news as we are — As a further trial in patience and understanding. God is preparing all of our hearts for a blessing of something even greater yet to come.
I know it is probably too soon for silver linings, but I have to say that we are more prepared for a new child than ever, be that a boy or a girl. And I am just bold enough to hope for another set of twins.
With Love,
Aaron
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