I am an over planner. When things are not in order, and I am disorganized, it does not sit well with me, causes me anxiety. I've come to understand that I love me some control. LOVE IT, NEED IT. If I am not in charge, I want to know all the details and have all my questions answered ahead of time. I want to plan through in detail how things will go, and be mentally prepared for any outcome. I want to have back up plans, I want to have planned out the perfect most efficient way to do something and not just go willy-nilly. Even if my plan is nothing...like laying in my favorite spot on Playa Conchal, Costa Rica..."nothing" is still a plan. ;)
Letting go of control and my plans is an ongoing lesson the Lord and I work through. I honestly believe that is one of the reasons Aaron is so great for me. He helps me to step away from my plans. He walks with me when our projects, afternoons, lives, you name it...don't go as I had planned. And he constantly challenges me....in a good way, to trust him and the Lord more, letting go of my control and plans. This letting go in our marriage helps me to also let go in my relationship with the Lord.
The Lord calls me to let go of control to Him. To trust the plan He has for us, to stop hesitating and start doing.
I know that in times when I have done that, trusted in Gods plan and not my own, that is where God has shown up with a contingency plan far superior to the one I had conjured up for myself.
Advent and Christmas have constantly been the hardest time of year for me personally in our desire for children. So much wonder, and awe...and a lot of waiting on a special baby. Christmas is just different with children. During advent last year and in reflection of 2019, I focused my prayer on letting go of my expectations for how I thought our lives should look and be. In specific, how our little family would ever grow. I really worked on letting go of my plans and control. Asking for peace and joy in whatever God's plan was for us. The Lord did give me that peace. And I was excited to whatever and where ever we were headed, knowing that whatever was in store, would always be better than my feeble plans.
When 2020 started, I would not have thought adoption was the Lord's plan for our lives. In fact, when Aaron lost his Job, and the AC & Flooring project occurred...I was finding it hard to trust in Gods plan. I recall some pretty intense prayer sessions on my part. We had no idea of the things already in place and happening for God's plan for us to unfold. And, as suspected, the contingency plan God laid out for us was far better. While we were focusing on trusting in the Lord, He was moving in the hearts and creating action steps of those who have made this entire Adoption possible and started knocking down walls. The employment and home projects, were just preparation steps for the bigger plan of adopting some sweet little one. Aaron now has a job he loves that sees his talent and these home projects needed to happen before children came into the mix.
This entire adoption process has exceeded anything Aaron and I could have ever imagined. Stepping back and seeing how the Lord is carving out a plan for our family, has been and continues to be a life changing event. Sure, there will be a sweet little baby Wegenka at the end of this, but it is more than that. This experience, and how we see God moving and using others to make this possible for us, is awe inspiring. We just know that this little soul must be someone truly special and dear to our Lord. Hand picked specifically for Aaron and I, at just this time....
The past few weeks since my last post have been packed.
Aaron started a new job. He loves it. But, as you know, when starting a new job there is a lot of learning new systems, and in his case, new clients. He loves it, but has been putting in extended hours. It is hard to believe he is already on week 3!!! We are so grateful he was able to find something during these crazy times we are living in.
We spent Labor Day weekend at the Lake with the Wegenkas. This is something we all make a commitment to do as it is also Mark's Birthday. It is a sort of end of the lake season weekend. We love it there. Sadie REALLY LOVES IT THERE. It is a lot of people and a lot of love.
Last week, Aaron and I got fingerprinted. While, uneventful, a needed step in the Home Study federal background checks. Aaron went during his lunch, and I forgot to remind him to take a photo...sorry friends.
Aaron and I both have physicals scheduled for the next few days. And we have another round of interviews next week with the case worker. The week after that she will more than likely be visiting our home. Then only a few days of waiting until the all clear :). A lot of you have asked for a time frame, we should know more once this is finalized.
We have also been putting the finishing touches on the booklet that birth moms will see of us when selecting couples. We write descriptions and introductions to who we are as a couple, who are families are, who our friends are, how our life looks and more. I am finding the most difficult aspect of this, is writing a letter to our birth mother. Just a friendly reminder to pray for our birth mamma. I can only imagine what she must be walking through.
We FINALLY, 14 days after starting, finished the shelving project that was supposed to take 24 hours. Hahaha, remember what I said about plans....haha...and how Aaron challenges me to grow ;). With that said, the shelves look great and have been put to good use. The office now has plenty of closet storage, the laundry is now more functional with more than double the shelving, and the soon to be nursery has extra closet shelving as well.
Speaking of the nursery...it is no longer a "Room of Requirement." We spent Saturday going through everything! I sold some things, we got rid of a lot, and donated a whole jeep full. The plan is to finish up with taking the empty shelving to the garage, hanging the bikes in the garage (hooks already bought), and a quick paint job. Then it will be ready for me to "plan" and start putting baby items in. ECK!!!!!
Yesterday, I bought a used dresser. Aaron and I have plans to paint it, replace the hardware and legs, and use this as a changing station and dresser in the nursery. I actually think this might be our last pre baby project....fingers crossed.
Our case worker, suggested I go ahead and start a registry with items we will need. I did, and since it was a good distraction...or Procrasta-working as Aaron calls it, it is almost done. We just need to make time to go to an actual store and test a few strollers and carriers out. You mammas out there, if you know of something I shouldn't live without send me a message so I am sure to add it to the list ;)
Next week we will be starting our next novena. This one will be to St. Therese the Little Flower. If you recall, this is also the name of our Home Study Agency. We will start on Wednesday and end on her feast day, October 1st. I will have a post about this next week. :)
Thank you o much for all of your prayers and support!! Aaron and I are so so so humbled and grateful!! We are so blessed to be able to share this with you all!
Pray for us :)
-Kiki
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